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The Ballad of Johnny Pepperoni

from Interrobang by Interrobang

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lyrics

Johnny was a young man with hair as green as grass
He lived with his dad who owned a pizza place and was such a pain in the rear
He wanted his son to follow him into the family scheme
But Johnny said no dad, I'd rather live my own dream
You see, Johnny wanted nothing more than to drum for a band
But his dad said "no, pies and music don't mix, now come here and lend me a hand."

Late one night at the pizza place, Johnny's father said "you're a waste of space"
So he threw Johnny out into the street without a single slice to eat
All he had were the clothes on his back, a dream for his life, and his drums in a sack
He needed a chance, a way to break free,
to fill his life with possibility

Down in the cavern club in the basement
The Band of Music needed a replacement
for their drummer, who had combusted
after his playing skills, they had rusted
Johnny tried just to approach them
This is what they said
No, you cannot join us in our band
You make pizza, and so we hate you
Yes, you can join us in our band
We need someone who drums like you do

This is our lead single, buy it from us please
This is a hit single, sold a million copies
We're going on tour, got lots of groupies

Johnny's father goes on TV and tells a story for the world to see, that Johnny used to be a pizza cook, and maybe he needs a second look
The musicians were shocked, the
pizza chefs were too
They hated poor Johnny now, through and through
They tossed tomatoes and drumsticks at his face, so Johnny quit the band in his disgrace

I'm living alone
Just with this gold record I own
Nobody'll have anything to do with me
It's not my fault, baby hear my plea
I just wanted to drum
Now I'm just a poor bum
I'm a good fella'
I've just fallen into the old mozzarella
My mama told me never to try
I never meant to make her cry
I just gotta get my fix
Of those tasty melty sticks
I've got some tunes in my head
The kind that fill me with dread
Solo career
Personal confession
These albums really stink
Oh I'm pourin' out my heart
But my songs won't chart
Oh, I give up

Olive came sneaking into Johnny's house
She found him giving golf tips to a long-dead old mouse
She threw out his cheese sticks and cleaned off his face
She knew she could free him from his disgrace
She brought him to her studio with an 8-track machine,
picked up her keytar and said "let's make this one mean"
Johnny was back now, and the album was grand
With olive on vocals and a whole new band
It hit the charts and shot to number one
Johnny's successes had sure been outdone

Johnny's father had become greedy from all the money he'd made from being on TV
He'd had enough of this music trend, so the music folk must meet their end
He gathered an army of his pizza fans to go up against those music bands
The pizza troops invaded musicville
The musicians and pizza folk prepared to kill

Johnny was crushed by this war he had caused
So he came front and center and demanded it be paused
He turned to the crowd and he sang with his band
About compassion and what love can withstand
The crowd sang along, they were taken with glee
They all shouted praise for good old Johnny

Johnny was crushed by this war he had caused
He turned to the crowd and demanded it be paused
But they wouldn't listen to his cries of peace
Only through bloodshed would this conflict cease
Johnny's father knew what he must do
He'd blame it on Johnny poor Olive too
He told all the people "we don't have to fight; just kill these hoodlums and call it a night

Go, Johnny, go

credits

from Interrobang, released April 2, 2012

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Interrobang Lewisville, Texas

Interrobang is a comedic rock & roll duo based in north Texas. We make music in the hopes that people will laugh sometimes, flop their hair all over the place in a ridiculous manner other times, and enjoy themselves all times.

Interrobang consists of

Harrison Foreman - Vocals, keyboards, wiener whistle
Aubrey Seaton - Vocals, keyboards, drums
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