He's tired of paper airplanes to his head Sometimes he wishes those cherubs were dead He'll never admit this but he's actually A struggling guitarist who wishes that he was not a (chorus) Bus driver In his corner spinning wheels Never playing what he deals He won't tell you how he feels about you He knows he's stuck here for as long As he sits and does no wrong Knows no one will sing his song What to do? Bus driver The dice on the dashboard hold small knives that he Placed there for the future in '73 His plan is so tight he knows it can not fail He's sure that the cops would not think to jail a poor old (chorus) He'll kill the kids with their damn noisy toys He'll guide them to their fate So when the folks come for their girls and boys They'll realize too late That they're gone But he'd never do this as far as we know his thoughts are just thoughts that he'll never show It does seem suspicious, but we'll let it slide 'Cause he ain't malicious so let's go for a ride with this old (chorus)

Where am I? In the place you'll say goodbye Tell me why! You're the one that made me cry I won't be shy, I will DIE / Please don't be shy, you will die I could sue I know you and that's a lie What did I do? You set my whole world awry I can't be shy; now I DIE / Come, don't be shy; now you DIE Please explain! Do you really not know why? Don't restrain In 5th grade you ate my pie Now I know why I must DIE / Now you know why you must DIE That was Tony Don't you say that! Don't deny! Looks just like me! You've got pics of him and I I guess I don't have to DIE / I guess you don't have to DIE What'd I tell ya? Now I see you're not the guy Well I won't dwell ya This is awkward. Um, goodbye At least you know who should DIE / At least I know who should DIE

I have lived a good life, got all that I wanted for free I ain't had no bad luck, and that's what is botherin' me I have never suffered, not once had a broken heart If I ain't felt no real pain, how can I turn pain into art? My girlfriend didn't cheat or use me My parents didn't beat or abuse me Nothing has made me unhappy I wanna play music but I couldn't stand if it's sappy I can't take this no more If I ain't got problems how can I feel bad I know there ain't nothin' that's makin' me sad But maybe that's it and my problems are gone I'll be sad about nothing and stay up 'til dawn I'll exaggerate the bad times (Man, this Father's Day was the worst Mother's Day ever) I'll completely ignore the good times (When life hands you lemonade, make lemons) And my guitar solos will have real passion because I've got the blues Now I've got all the problems that I could ever need

Well I've gone right down to Egyptian Way The map ain't right so I'm here to stay I just wanna find some peace of mind My package is somewhere sittin' away Well the exit's here, so my phone tells me I'm lookin' real hard but my eyes don't see Well I can't have missed what don't exist so I guess I'll make a phone call to the absentee He says that the internet's always been wrong He says if you wanna get there you'll just hafta play along To get to my place, listen to my face Well even he had got his own directions wrong I went right down to Egyptian Way I thought it'd take the morning but It took all day At last saw where, finally got there, guy said "My directions wrong? Ha! No way!"

Moist goiter boy An egregious worcestershire of flaccid sludge Moist goiter boy The flatulent effluvium of his mooshy ointment Moist goiter boy Ankyloglossia is your Gorgonzola Moist goiter boy Rural juice in fluorescent wells Moist goiter boy The nasal twang rings an oily squelch Moist goiter boy Mucilaginous louse of regurgitated sleaze Moist goiter boy Engorged swine flagellum of yesterday's past Moist goiter boy Jawohl

Guy: Oh Jolene, these past few hours have been the best of my life! Jolene? Gal: Baby. I think I love you, but before I say I do There's something I should probably say It ain't at all bad; you'll be surprised just a tad But there's no time for secrets today You think that you know me, well boy you just began I am all woman but I once looked like a man When I was young I knew something must change Was kept to myself for some may view it strange But one day I realized just who I could be Despite what they said I just had to be me Guy: It's only surprising, for this I didn't plan Gal: I am all woman, but I once looked like a man In my true body I had such morale Happy with myself; a brand new gal When you're born what you're not, you should go for what's right Just give it a shot and we'll dance through the night Guy: Didn't the change cause any strife? Gal: Hah! You should ask my ex-wife! Guy: Wait! I did not expect this It's difficult for my poor brain But why would I reject this A man offended must be insane 'Cause I still love you And that won't change And what is gender But just a range Gal: I'm so glad you see me for who I am A woman who loves you, and that's not a sham And we'll stick together through time and through age Our story's just starting, so let's turn the page I'm happy I know you; our life; it's just began I am all woman, but I once looked like a man

I've been here for an hour And I think I'll be here for an hour more Oh I've been here for an hour and I think I'm going crazy I have lost sight of what I am here for This line is longer than Aunt Bertha's stories And it has shaken me to the core Oh this coaster won't be worth it Why don't I just go? No one's even getting on the ride and dammit Where's the exit? Where's the entrance? I don't even know Oh we're all victims here Of the maintenance staff from down below This is getting ridiculous I think I'm just gonna...

(Note: the narrator of this song is a fictional character and a jerkface) The other day I met a girl Who somehow didn't make me want to hurl She had a face that wasn't bad And talking to her didn't make me that sad (chorus) Ooh, girl You ain't got what I need We aren't guaranteed But we can proceed Eww, girl What's that on your face Doesn't matter, let's embrace And we got past first base So it's alright with me I like the clothes that she wears I guess her face wasn't mauled by bears She's not the perfect girl for me But her visage didn't make me flee (chorus) While she didn't really make me happy Her chest size wasn't crappy

The first time I saw him at the show I could not believe my eyes It's the thing that I despise (What a faux pas) Pure fury rages through my brain My revulsion uncontained And oh look it has a stain (It is coleslaw) (chorus) Oh, when he puts on that dumb thing The puppies and kittens all cry The world hasn't thought to tell him something No gentlemanly guy ever wore a clip on tie Not only do they look so vile My whole life they did defile We should put them all on trial (You can't keep calm) All of them guilty of course They won't even show remorse We must take them all by force (They killed your mom) (chorus) The ties and all their demon kin Will be mankind's downfall To ensure such an age does not begin Hunt them down, lock them up, let them burn, we must destroy them all (chorus) And the man must surely die who would wear a clip on tie

My neighbor called me a fruitcake I guess that means I'm sweet All these friendly people I love to stop and greet And everyone's so happy To see my smiling face When I strike up conversation They give me lots of of breathing space There are so many things in life that fill me with glee It's a doggy dog world and it's sunshine and rainbows to me I was walking through the city Hearing all the birdies sing I saw a girl was mighty pretty I said um... You're really pretty... (YOUR FACE IS NICE) This guy came from behind her He said he'd clean my clock I said "thanks, my timepiece is pretty clean But we could make small talk" There are so many things in life that make me happy It's a doggy dog world and it's sunshine and rainbows to me He then caressed my face Which made a vibrant thud I saw a nice maroon Which I realized was my blood It had a luscious hue That I could use to paint And as the color grew I proceeded then to faint There are so many things in life that fill me with glee It's a doggy dog world and it's sunshine and rainbows to me There are so many things in life that make me happy It's a doggy dog world and it's sunshine and rainbows to me

Well I went out to get some hot sauce I thought I'd have some fun I saw the pain and sufferin' On the faces of everyone Through the tears they all proclaimed This hot sauce was a gift So I said: "this place looks pretty cool. Or not, if you catch my drift" I saw a vendor called "crazy dip" I walked over to their space Then I picked up a bottle, poured it over a chip Said I'm ready to melt my face! Dig in! Aaah, what should I try first? There's so many... So many different options of spicy foods I can eat! Hey, look over there! There's a jalapeño thing! That doesn't seem too bad. I'll try it! *snarf* Mmm, not too bad, not too bad. Let's go on. Ooh, habañeros! Uunh! That's a bit spicy! Ooh, what? What is this? It's... Death Liquid? That sounds delicious! OM NOM NOM NOM. Oh... Oh no.. I can't breathe! HELP ME WHERE'S THE MILK?!?!? Uunh, oh gosh this is horrible! It still burns like the heat of a thousand and thirteen suns! Uunh, there's some water. I think that will help me. Oonh. *glug glug glug* Oh gosh, why is it getting worse? OH GOSH! RRRRRRRRGH I NEED MILK! MILK! MILK! WHERE'S THE MILK I NEED IT NOOOOOOW We are the collective of the milk and we protect you from the Hot sauce and its burning and capsaicin, you are yearning for the Milk, we see, and you must be the one who'll drink the stuff with glee The death liquid is our mortal foe and you must know that you will Be the battleground for such a conflict as your lips have never Seen but do not worry we'll prevail and you will live to tell the tale And the soothing taste of milk will save your mouth Yes the soothing taste of milk will save your mouth And now touching your tastebuds Soon halting the burn The battle will now ensue Hot sauce! Milk! Milk will save your mouth Yes milk will save your mouth It is too late Though you taste great Your harsh flame Is causing pain Feel our heated embrace Stuff us into your face Come here my child You'll be fine Milk is great Divine Have no fear We are here In the clear Now See them run It is done We have won Wow This fight is passed, still You will yet yearn, you will We will return soon For you And now at last we go You are unscathed, we know You have been saved it is true Thanks to MILK

A mosquito bit my eye A mosquito bit my eye A mosquito bit my eye A mosquito bit my eye It made me cry When that mosquito bit my eye Oh I think I'm gonna die Yes I think I'm gonna die Yes I think I'm gonna die cuz' that mosquito bit my eye That mosquito bit my EYE